Online Counseling - Mistakes Men Make in Relationships

Where are all the male relationship advice talk show hosts? They just don't exist.

Dr. Laura and Dr. Joy Browne have been around a long time and do a great job. But where are the men? They are a "no show." So it looks like I'm the man.

That's why I am writing my new book about the 10 Biggest Mistakes Men Make. No one else can write it. They just don't have the insight or the love.

I know what some of you are going to say - there are many men relationship counselors on Christian radio. You are right, but I'm talking about mainstream secular radio. Besides, well known Christian family and relationship counselors are, in my opinion, very wimpy.

They don't understand what women and the kids really need from a man.

They think the man has to be nicer. And if he is nicer, then everything will be fine. So you have men bringing flowers, helping her vacuum, doing the dishes, and telling her how much he loves her with little love notes on the refrigerator.

Meanwhile the family still suffers, and he scratches his head and never figures it out.

I'm not going to give away the contents of the book. But I will give you one hint.

Men - most of the time "nice" means weak. A woman-worshiping male who wants something from his girl friend will tip toe around and be very nice so he can get what he wants.

A guilty husband, who had lunch with someone at the office or who is smoking behind his wife's back, will act very nice. The husband who leaves his wife in charge of everything, including the kids' education, is nice.

But these are weak men and their partners know it.

Of course, the seeming opposite - being mean, dictatorial or angry - is even worse. Both extremes are error.

Remember John Wayne? Remember Clark Gable in Gone With the Wind? Remember Gary Cooper in High Noon? They portrayed men who had character. They stood for something. They were firm, but they also had a tender side. They loved principle more than anything.

They loved principle more than their wife (but their wives felt secure because she knew he could be trusted and would never fail her).

Have you ever seen Miracle on 34th Street (the original version, the one with Natalie Wood)? Kris Kringle could be very no-nonsense, but he always had a twinkle in his eye.

Men - stand for something. Learn to be honorable and principled, without anger or resentment. Be a man and love principle. Then your wife and kids will have something to respect.

If you are a people pleaser and wimpy nice, they may like you (like having their way with you), but they won't respect you.

If you are angry or violent - no wonder they hate you. If you take drugs or drink excessively - you haven't even gotten to first base in terms of what a real man is.

If you are a decent guy and are home every evening; If you don't drink, cheat, smoke marijuana, gamble, use bad words or get violent - then you are on first base and there is hope for you. My books might help you find the missing something that your family needs to see in you.

Remember - be like Kris Kringle. Always have a twinkle in your eye.