Back to Basics -- Spiritual Recovery
If it is true that God’s forgiveness is there waiting for us to accept it, and if it is true that His guidance is there in the form of wordless intuition and inner guidance, why do we not grasp it, instead of erring and suffering?
The answer has to do with our own nature—we have a secret desire to play God and to do whatever we want. We are prideful and rebellious. We would rather be God than know God. Therefore we shy away from a real encounter with His Truth, lest our pipe dreams be dashed, our illusions broken and we be forced to tow the line and do His will. The answer also has to do with the powers that be.
They prefer that we be lost, confused and making mistakes. There is big money to be made and lots of power to be had in helping people that are confused and needy. If everyone were self reliant and intuitively guided by wisdom from God, there would be no more need for external problem solvers.
Everyone knows about the truth, even bad people. But because everyone is guilty of playing God, we all shy away from complete honesty, lest others pull the rug out from under us and point out our wrongs too. When it comes to standing up for principle, most of us are unwilling to go all the way. We cop out, preferring to be popular rather than principled. Most dads, for example, say the right things, but they say them either too weakly or angrily. However, some of us reach a point where we yearn for the truth so much that we are even willing to see our own wrongs. When we reach this point, our soul softens, and we are ready to have our attitude changed from one of pride and defensiveness against truth to one of humility.
This occurs as the Truth begins to dawn, lighting our darkness and beginning the long process of salvation. As Truth dawns, the first thing we see is our own wrongs. Mourning over what we see, we regret the way we are but also realize in the Light that we cannot make ourselves good. When we are repented by the Truth, we become friends with Truth. When we are friends with Truth, there is no more need for the methods we used to use to escape conscience.